Confrontation is never easy, no matter the type of underlying issue. It is hard to call out people. It is also very hard to have a civil conversation about what others might be doing wrong. You need to frame the words oh-so-carefully. The thin line between getting your point across and embarrassing others is very indeed, very thin.
The situation is even more awkward when it has to do with sex, because, well, it’s sex. This awkwardness and the resultant hesitation can make people put the important yet uncomfortable talk, indefinitely off.
However, the awkwardness doesn’t take away from the gravity of the situation. You might want to tell your partner that the experience is not pleasurable for you. You might want to tell them how you want to experience sexual satisfaction. You might want to tell them how nervous you are when it comes to having sex. But how to do it without offending them?
At times, this hesitation can lead to the problem becoming bigger, that then impedes your sex life. It may even be bad enough to lead to performance issues, requiring the help of a Sexologist in Lahore. Therefore, it is important for you to have the sex talk.
Some talking tips
Be less confrontation
You are not a boss confronting your employee’s lack of performance. You are a person talking to your partner about how your sexual needs are not being met. You can, and should, frame the entire conversation in a non-confrontational manner.
There are several ways of going about the conversation that get your message across, without hurting your partner’s sentiments. So, rather than saying dearly beloved, I am doing math when we are frolicking, say what you enjoy more when it comes to sex, or tell one of your sexual fantasies etc.
Imagine yourself on the receiving end; of course, you would be slightly or even greatly hurt if you find out you cannot give your partner orgasm. Hence, be empathetic while talking.
Just because you should be careful about how you are framing the conversation that you are not honest about your feelings. You should relay your point in complete honesty, except, be mindful of their feelings
Blame game is not helpful in any situation, let alone when you are trying to relay your sexual needs to your partner. Hence, make sure that you don’t blame your partner, and that you don’t take any either.
The conversation will be counterproductive if it becomes a game of you cannot perform. Also, unless your partner is being selfish, sometimes, your lack of pleasure might be despite them being earnest in their conquest to give you pleasure.
Watch your tone
In the throes of passion – for the lack of the actual passionate throes –you might not be careful about your tone. Raising your voice and angering your partner or crying and making your partner guilty are not the objectives of the conversation.
Hence, be careful about your tone. Word inflection plays a crucial role in effective communication, so try to remain calm and composed.
They don’t know what you like
Try not to hold it against your partner. Some might genuinely be clueless in what you like, especially if you are not telling them. So, be open about what you want and don’t be embarrassed!
Get help, if needed
For to make your conversation fruitful, you also need to ascertain the underlying cause of your sexual problems. If it is just a matter of not knowing what each other’s pleasure points are, or it has to do with your partner being solely concerned about their needs, that is something that you can resolve on your own.
However, if it is complicated issue involving problems of sexual dysfunction, mental health etc., then it helps to get an expert like a sexologist in Karachi involved.